First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I supernannyed him into submission
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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