i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize