Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize