i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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