Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
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It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
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There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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