just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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