Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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