More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize