i jhust puked up my retainher.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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