Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
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and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
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So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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