question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
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I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
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You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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