they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
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At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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