Will you blow on my dice?
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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