I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
is wine microwaveable?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize