no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize