Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize