I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
only you would photoshop your dick
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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