I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
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There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize