Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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