I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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