Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize