so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize