when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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