Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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