Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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