When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize