He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
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Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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