Soap is not a condiment
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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