I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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