he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
soo... how was my night?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize