Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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