There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
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on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
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I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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