I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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