so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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