some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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