Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize