My first STD was from a foam party
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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