Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
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She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
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I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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