if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize