Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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