Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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