Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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