the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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