so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize