So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize