i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize