theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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