its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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