I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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