Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
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According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
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Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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